Thursday, July 22, 2010

Negative nancies.

When I first announced that Chris and I were getting married,  we received tons of supportive messages from friends telling us how excited they were for us.  There's that saying that 'everyone loves babies!', which I do NOT understand or agree with... instead I think everyone loves engagements and seeing their friends be happy and sparkly rings and promises of photo booths at weddings.

But then there's those dark little evil hookers lurking in the corner, complaining and snickering for whatever reasons.

Recently I was made aware of a friend of a friend, who for some reason thought it was perfectly fine to talk shit about different aspects of my wedding to one of my best friends/bridesmaids, who promptly told me because that's what awesome friends do.  Who in their right mind would talk shit about someone to that person's best friend?  Obviously a mega tard.  I realized that for once in my life, the whole 'they're talking about you because they're jealous' thing moms tell their teenage daughters is actually true.  Because who would talk shit about someone's happiness and big awesome day?  I can't really come up with any reason other than jealousy and lack of anything seriously awesome in their lives.

And for that, I feel bad for you.  Not really that bad, because you suck and I hope you and people like you get an incurable rash and/or malaria or dysentery or something else on the ailment list from Oregon Trail.

So, to all of my lovely lady friends out there, if this kind of stuff happens before your big day, confront it, have your protective friends attack it, get it taken care of and out of your life.  The last thing you need is to waste any time thinking about some Negative Nancy Debbie Downer Martha Mopeyface.  You have lots of more important things to deal with.

But you could always go for some manual karma and put dog shit under their car door handles.  Just sayin'.


  1. I will let my cats pee in this person's purse (or man-bag).

    Some people.



  2. He/She now has an incurable rash. You're welcome.


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